Recently, I received some heartbreaking news from a friend and client. One of their family members passed away suddenly. This family member was relatively healthy and had gone to the doctor to check out a chronic ache they’d been experiencing for a couple of months. After some tests, they discovered a large tumor suspected to be cancer. Tragically, by the time it was found, it was too late for effective treatment, and they were given only a few months to live—but that same week, they passed away.
Last year, this friend had hired me to do some family photos, as his family was coming in from out of town. He wanted to capture special moments with his wife, their baby, and the grandparents. We started with the typical posed photos, capturing the parents with the kiddo and each set of grandparents with their grandchild. After getting those classic shots, I encouraged everyone to take a turn playing with the little one. It was during these candid moments that we captured the fun and love that simply can't be posed.
When I heard about the passing of my friend's family member, I knew I had to go through those photos and find all the moments of him playing with his grandchild. I sent them over, not knowing just how meaningful they would become. Shortly after, I received a call from the uncle. He thanked me for sending the images, sharing that his sister realized their child may not remember their grandpa. The photos we captured that day had become incredibly important to the family, showcasing the deep love between him and his grandson.
This experience really hit home for me because it brought back memories of my own mom, who passed away after a 10-year battle with breast cancer. She always had a camera in hand, but she was all about having everyone stop and pose. It wasn’t until near the end of her life that I realized most of the photos we had were stiff and formal. Just a week before she passed, I asked if she would take some photos with grandma and my kids. These ended up being the last and most genuine photos I have of her—capturing her in the way I want to remember her, surrounded by family and love.
Why Genuine Moments Matter
Had we only stuck with posed photos in both of these situations, we would have missed the real, heartfelt interactions that make family memories so precious. Posed photos can capture a moment in time, but candid moments capture the emotions, connections, and stories that really matter. It’s those spontaneous interactions—like playing with a child or sharing a laugh—that show the true essence of family.
So, when it comes to family photography, I encourage you to embrace the real moments. Put down the idea of perfection, and focus on capturing the love, joy, and sometimes even the chaos that comes with family life. Those are the memories you’ll want to keep forever.
